Dr. A called last week to discuss the results of my bloodwork. Pretty much everything came back normal... pretty much. I tested positive for "ICC".. couldn't find a single thing on-line about ICC, found plenty about the International Cricket Club though!!.. and my NKa counts came back super high. From what I could find about NKa, my body identifies an embryo as a foreign object and attacks it before it can even implant. So, I may have been pregnant, several times... but my body rejected it even before I got a positive pregnancy test.
Dr. A is recommending 2 rounds of IVIg, which is terribly terribly expensive and quite possibly our only hope of getting and STAYING pregnant. We found a pharmacy in Chicago where we can get IVIg for the bargain price of only $82/gram. My counts were so high, he is also recommending that I get twice the normal amount of IVIg, so I'll need a total of 80g.. LOVELY.
It took a few days for all of the information to soak in.. and I had a meltdown last Thursday night. Throughout all of this, I have felt immense guilt. Guilt for being the one with 'the problem', Guilt for having to spend so much money on doctor bills, Guilt for being the one keeping Superman from being a Dad. The news that our cheap, low stim IVF cycle was now going to cost us more than a regular IVF cycle put me over the edge. I could not stop crying, no, I could not stop BAWLING. It wasn't a pretty cry either. It was a snotty, hiccuping, blubbering sob fest. I'm one of those criers whose face gets red, eyes swell, throat closes up and head starts throbbing when I have a massive cry session. Superman insisted that I take the following day off from work and use the gift certificate that my MIL gave me as a 'stress reducer' gift a few weeks ago. He even arranged for my little sister to meet me for a pedi after my massage. It was much needed- Thanks Superman and MIL!
Thinking positively, we do have lots in our favor. Our age, Supermans' super spermies, my hormone levels and health.. all signs that we should be successful. We also identified the problem BEFORE we began expensive IVF treatments. Had we have stayed with Dr. J, goodness knows how many thousands of dollars we would have spent without being successful.
Hey there! So glad to catch up with you again at the meeting tonight. Thanks again for filling me in on all of your IVF stuff. Too cool that we have the same doc! You're right - you do have a lot going for you and, while it does cost a ton, it must feel great to have a diagnosis. I'm soooo excited for you guys. I will keep you in my prayers that this is THE cycle!!
ReplyDelete~ Cathy