Bad Blogger..and the B-word

I know, I know.. I've been a bad blogger. To recap our last few weeks:

1. I survived my marathon Halloween weekend- 100 undergrads visiting..all left entertained and well-fed.
2. We went to Sanibel Island with Superman's family to celebrate his mom's 50th. The weather was great, the food was good. I didn't come back with a tan, but I did sport a bikini for a little bit. It was a well-needed vacation!
3. Superman has felt BOTH babies move. For the longest time, they would kick and bounce and as soon as Superman would put his hand on my belly, they would stop.. darn kids! Then, one night, baby girl was bouncing like crazy. I told Superman to get comfortable because he was going to sit there until he felt her- after about 3 minutes, she gave a real good kick and his face lit up like a Christmas tree. He felt baby boy the next night. Ahh, I loved it!
4. We have been slowly working on getting the babies room ready- SLOWLY- the furniture has finally been moved out, the closet is cleaned.. we're moving in the right direction.

Okay, now for the real news.. I had my big 21 week ultrasound last Monday. Both babies look fantastic- measuring ahead of schedule and looking perfect in every way. A huge relief! My fluid levels looked great- the tech was very chatty and explained everything as she checked each baby. We had a minor scare with baby boy's heart rate. At first check, it was really high, but she got a second reading a moment later that was just a little off from his sister's. At the end of our appt., I remembered that my doctor had requested a cervix check as well, so I asked her how my cervix looked. She said that she had forgotten to check it and sent me off to empty my bladder (again). She broke out the wand (hello again, my old friend) and got down to business. She asked what I did for a living- I was adamant that I sat at a desk all day.. no heavy lifting, etc.. I could see where this was going.. Any bleeding? No, none- not a drop. Cramping? No.. My cervix was measuring at 2.3, which is a LOT thinner than they would have liked, so off she went to consult a doctor. I told Superman she was going to come back and I was going to be put on bedrest. He told me not to jump to conclusions and wait and see what she said.
A few moments later she came in and sat down.. not a good sign, right? And so she began- no work, no driving, no laundry, no cooking.. bedrest. UGH. I hated bedrest the 24 hours I was on it after my transfer.. and this time, it's INDEFINITE.
So, here's what we know so far:

• Bedrest at least until my follow-up on Tuesday afternoon
• Weekly ultrasounds to check my cervix (and hopefully a baby or two :)
• A shot in the behind (can't remember what it is called, I'll have to ask again tomorrow) once a week
• Working from home- THANKFULLY my boss looked into what we need to do should this happen- a simple note from my dr saying I can't drive in to work, but I can work from home and my FMLA time is safe. I am learning it's really hard to type laying on your left side (best for blood flow to the uterus..) but I'm getting things done.
• The dog is happy that someone is home all day, but he spends most of it staring at me. I think he's bored and I wish there was more I could to than let him out into the back yard every few hours.. he's staring at me as I type this (from my left side)..
• The babies are safe. I'm willing to lay on my side as long as I have to- these two have a lot more cooking to do.. and if I have to deal with a few cramps in my side.. I'll do it. Bring it on.

Superman hit LazyBoy on our way home from the doctor last week. He picked out an over-stuffed rocker, recliner that will move into the babies' room once they arrive. It's comfy and has been my spot since it's arrival. He has been wonderful and is very quick to end any pity parties I may be throwing for myself.. Today, he has been feeding me lines about how he can't wait to decorate the house for Christmas- something I usually have to BEG him to help me with.. He thinks it'll help brighten my days spent at home- I am so blessed.

Spoiled..

Working a long and late next few days..I'm tired. I'm uncomfortable. I'd rather be at home with Superman and the dog.. watching ANYTHING on TV.. but my weekend will be spent working.
I just received the following email from Superman:

"I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have a woman like you be the mother of my children… I am the luckiest man of the planet!"

I'm incredibly spoiled and so lucky to have such a great guy to call my husband! I can't wait to get home and give him a hug and a kiss!

Survey Says...

How far along? 17 Weeks
Total Weight Gain/Loss? +8lbs total
Maternity Clothes? Wearing maternity pants (why don't we wear them ALL the time?!) Still in my own tops.
Stretch Marks? Nada
Sleep? Not the best these days.. I'm sleeping more lightly and wake up a few times at night.
Best Moment This Week? Feeling both munchkins moving!
Food Cravings? Not really. I'm kinda over food these days. Nothing gets me excited anymore.
Genders? Pink and Blue
Labor Signs? Started having Braxton Hicks contractions last week. I'm not a fan. But I did get to call the after hours emergency exchange this weekend.. which was fun.
Belly Button? It's getting less and less 'deep' if that makes any sense.. I'm seeing parts of it I've never seen before and am taking advantage to clean all those little crevasses.. Also, I think I'll have an outtie in the next month or so..
What I miss? besides wearing my old clothes.. nothing. I really like being pregnant! Maybe sushi ...?
What am I looking forward to? Next week's trip to Ft. Meyers.. the beach!
Weekly Wisdom? Comfy shoes are a must! I haven't taken my Uggs off all week.
Milestones? MIGHT have nursery bedding picked out... unless I find something else I like.

Week 15 Glamour Shots

On Tuesday, Superman and I went to the doctor for my week 15 visit. We had an ultrasound scheduled at 1:30 and an appt to meet with Dr. W at 2:00. Have I said how much I LOVE ultrasounds!?!? I LOVE them. I wish Superman would pull a Tom Cruise and buy an U/S machine.. probably not going to happen, but I love the few minutes I get to peek in on them.

The first question the U/S tech asked us was if we wanted to know the sex of the babies. I had read that it is possible to tell at week 15, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. She said that we shouldn't go out and buy pink or blue based on what she found because 15 weeks is still really too early to tell. We agreed that we wouldn't hold her to whatever she said and she started the exam. Superman broke out the iphone video camera :) She checked placenta placement (all was well), heartbeats (two.. strong ones!), and started with Baby A, which is the lower of the two. (Side note: She also confirmed that the little bubbles I had been feeling in that area are, in fact, the baby and not gas as I thought it might be!!) She did her scan on the baby, measuring head, belly and femur (all perfect).. then asked if we wanted the sex of the baby to be on camera (superman was filming) because she was TYPING the sex of baby A on the screen. We said yes, thinking it'll be a great way to share with our families. She performed the same scans on Baby B, who is on my upper left side- all was well and almost identical to Baby A's measurements. They are both 5oz and measuring at 16 weeks, 2 days.. ahead of schedule :) Baby B was in a funny position, so it took her a few moments to find the right 'parts', but we know what Baby B is now too. As I was cleaning my belly, she told us that she was 90% sure that she was correct in sexing the babes and the only reason that she couldn't say 100% was that I was only 15 weeks. She said that the quality of the image couldn't have been better so we could go shopping if we wanted :)

FULLY satisfied with the u/s visit, we left knowing what we're having and several pictures to show off. My appt with Dr. W was pretty uneventful- I'm measuring at 20 weeks. My weight is right where is should be and he said that I should eat as much/often as I need to keep myself from getting nauseous- what a guy!!

Here are the lastest baby pics- again, Baby B wasn't very cooperative, so we didn't get a good profile shot, just a great tootsie pic!

Baby A is a GIRL!!

Baby B is a BOY!!

14 Weeks

This week's big developments: Your babies can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck their thumbs! Thanks to brain impulses, their facial muscles are getting a workout as their tiny features form one expression after another. Their kidneys are producing urine, which they release into the amniotic fluid around them — a process they'll keep up until birth. They can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch them sucking their thumbs.
In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, they measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and weigh 1 1/2 ounces. Their body's growing faster than their head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, their arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of their bodies. (Their legs still have some lengthening to do.) They are starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over their bodies. Your babies' livers starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and their spleens starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.

Survey Says..

How far along? 13 Weeks
Total Weight Gain/Loss? +6lbs total
Maternity Clothes? Still in my clothes.. for now.
Stretch Marks? Nope
Sleep? Back to getting up to go to the bathroom 2-3 times a night. Also, not so comfortable in bed.
Best Moment This Week? Opening SUPER CUTE gift from friend. TONS of stretch mark prevention.
Food Cravings? Not much. My appetite has dropped and I get full much more quickly now..
Genders? Not for at least another month.
Labor Signs? Nope
Belly Button? Looking kind of stretched these days.
What I miss? Zipping my pants..
What am I looking forward to? Big bday this weekend..
Weekly Wisdom? It's best to check to make sure your bright pink/orange polka dot underwear aren't showing as you walk around your entire office complex for 45 minutes... bella bands can ride up and if you're not zipping your pants, make sure your shirt is long enough to cover your undies.
Milestones? No more puking in the shower!

12 Weeks

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long and weighs half an ounce.

Survey Says...

How far along? 11.5 Weeks
Total Weight Gain/Loss? 4lbs at last dr appt, sure to increase at next week's appt
Maternity Clothes? Making good use of the belly bands, but still wearing my clothes
Stretch Marks? Nope
Sleep? 2nd night of sleeping thru the night and not getting up to go to the bathroom. Also, haven't had an 'afternoon nap' all week.
Best Moment This Week? Great date night/concert with Superman on Tuesday night
Food Cravings? Milk- Can't seem to get enough of it. We're on our 4th gallon this week.
Genders? Too soon to tell
Labor Signs? Nope
Belly Button? No change
What I miss? being able to button my size 2's...
What am I looking forward to? Next Tuesday's dr appt.
Weekly Wisdom? Husband's should not tell their wives where they can/cannot get sick. If the wife is holding a trashcan, there is no need for her to run to a sink/toilet- she's holding a trashcan!!
Milestones? Wearing the belly band.

9 week Glamour Shot and New OB

We met with Dr. W for the first time yesterday and couldn't be more happier with him. We both felt very much at ease with him and I think he sealed the deal with Superman when he told him to enjoy his sober driver for the next few months... hmmm, not sure if I liked that...

Anyway, we discussed everything from exercise to bed rest to 'my window of comfort' (which apparently will be very slim!) to delivery options. He mentioned that I'll have more frequent doctors appts, more ultrasounds (YAY!) and, as I like to put it, am just a little more 'special' than a singleton pregnancy. I use the word 'special' as a way to calm myself of any issues/complications that are there for me to dwell on.. :)

I went into the appt telling Superman to act like we haven't had an ultrasound yet- just because I wanted to check in our little babes. Luckily, we didn't have to fib and were walked into the u/s room from the very beginning. The babes have developed so much since our last u/s. They have distinguishable heads, arms and legs. They danced and wiggled for us- it was so amazing- I loved every second of it! Dr. W said that I should start feeling them in about 6 weeks ('cause us twin moms are 'special'!!).

I'll go back in about 3 weeks (and hopefully get to see them again). Here's the kiddies latest picture. Can you see them smiling??

OB Appt and All day sickness

After speaking with Dr. A, Superman and I have found an OB. Our first appointment with him will be on September 1, so more to come on that later..
I did want to touch on choosing a hospital- which was the main focus of our last week or so. Initially, we had decided on an area hospital that some friends had used for both of their kids' births. It is well respected, close to our house and, most important to us- it is not a 'baby factory'. The rooms are birthing suites, so you're not wheeled up and down hospital halls while in labor. The nurse to patient ratio is nice and high.
Dr. A agreed with our choice, noting that pretty much any hospital in the STL area would be well equipped to handle pretty much any situation that could arise.
I am now in full swing "all day sickness". (WARNING: the following is not for the faint of stomach.) I wake up at about 5:45am, feeling sick.. wander into the kitchen and make myself breakfast, TRY to choke it down and then lay on the couch and watch the morning news for about 30 minutes or until I start to feel human again. After I shower, which is EXHAUSTING by the way, I have to sit on the floor of my bedroom and put make-up on using my closet mirror. I usually gag a dozen times before I walk out the door- sometimes over a sink, sometimes not. The drive to work is usually uneventful, I drink either a large glass of water or a can of ginger ale, depending on how I'm feeling.
Once I'm settled at work, I start 'snacking' around 9:30 or so, to combat any potential gagginess. I have a family size box of crackers stashed in one of my drawers. By 11:30, I start feeling pukey again, so I eat lunch. Around 1:00 or so, the gagginess is back and I am usually ready for a nap, so I eat a healthy snack- yogurt or cottage cheese.. today, it was an apple. By the time I get home, I am super tired and crash on the couch for about 2 hours. Superman makes dinner (He has been AMAZING throughout all of this!) and cleans up afterwards. I usually fall asleep by 9:00 and wake up 2-3 times a night to go to the bathroom- FUN.
While I am eating a lot more than I usually do, I have found that my eating habits are much better. Sweets just don't sound good to me these days. I'd rather have some steamed broccoli or a decent sized salad. No midnight runs to DQ for Superman... yet.
I feel like crap about 85% of the time, BUT the all day sickness means that the babes are growing and doing what they are supposed to be doing- so the crap is a good thing and I'll take it every day of the week ;)

Steve and Lisa- 6 week Glamour Shot

We have officially graduated from Dr. A. We had our final ultrasound with him this morning and everything looks great. Both babies are about 8 mm long and had a great heart rate of 130bpm- right where they should be, Dr. A even gave us an "A" for the appt. The babies are over-achievers already.. they must take after me :)

For being only 8mm right now, these two are sure doing a number on my system. It is definitely not morning sickness... it's all day sickness. I just feel crummy most of the day and then I go home and take a 1.5 hour nap on the couch. I'm up a few times at night to go to the bathroom (practice for late night feedings, I'm sure...). Superman is a huge help. Before I ask for anything, he's handing me crackers, ginger ale, making dinner, etc.. I married a great guy!!

Here is the babies latest glamour shot. We're in the process of finding an OB, so we probably won't have another u/s for a while, but it's something we can look forward to!!

Thinking of a Friend

A friend of mine just received the dreaded "Push to Day 6 Transfer" call and has learned that her numbers have decreased (but are still good). Please say a prayer for Cathy and Jay as they prepare for transfer tomorrow.

MIA for a few days..

Superman and I took a much needed vacation. Last Saturday, we drove 12.5 hours to Destin, FL and spent a few days on the beach with my family and some family friends. We played in the ocean with a 17 month old and 3 year old, ate great food- some cooked in the condo by my mom (aren't the meals your mom cooks always better than anything you can get in a restaurant?!) and just plan relaxed after our whirlwind of a summer. Superman went fishing with 'the boys' and I got a much needed pedicure with 'the girls'. (Question- has anyone ever had Black and Decker SANDER used to scrape all the dead skin off their feet? Seriously, they pulled out a power tool with a little cone shaped sander on the end of it and proceeded to sand our feet. Chunks of dead skin were FLYING around the room, it was disgusting! .. And my feet aren't even that bad!)
Anyway, we left Wednesday morning and drove the 12.5 hours back to STL because we had our first u/s appt on Thursday!! Superman met me at the drs office and we walked in completely nervous about what was to come. A few of the nurses asked how I felt and to each I replied that I felt like I was going to throw up- not from morning sickness, just pure nerves.
Dr. A took a few minutes to come into the u/s room, and Superman paced and played with anything he could get his hands on.. magazines, the placement of his chair, my folded pants.. FINALLY, Dr. A came in and asked if we were ready to see the 4 babies.. HUH?? I think Superman and I both turned white and I told Dr A that if there were 4, he was responsible for their college tuition. He laughed and told us what we should expect to see- the yolk sacs, the babies, and that he thought it was still too early to see a heartbeat. I was really disappointed to hear that. I REALLY wanted to see heartbeats.
I assumed the position and Dr A immediately confirmed that we're having twins (YAY!!) He also said that they both look fantastic and both had very strong heartbeats. We got to see and hear both of them! It was AMAZING. Both babies look great- right where they should be. Dr A was happy and said the possibility of losing either of them was pretty slim at this point. (Whew!).
We have another appt on Thursday morning, so we get to look in on them again soon. I have a feeling I'm going to get spoiled with all of these ultrasounds. I am trying not to get used to them!
We have told most of our families, those who we haven't told, our mom's have taken it upon themselves to inform :) Our friends who knew the dates of transfer and beta have also been informed and have been asked to keep the news quiet for at least a few weeks. Both of our bosses know, but not everyone in our offices knows. We haven't decided when to come 'out' but I'm sure it'll happen sooner rather than later.
Friday afternoon I had my second and final IVIg infusion. Last time, I was there for 6 hours. I was told that the IV drip would be sped up this time, but because my appt was at 1:00 on a Friday afternoon, I think they sped me up a lot more than they should have. I left the office at 5:15 feeling kinda sick to my stomach and avoided the highway route home, just in case I had to pull over. My dad wanted to take Superman and I out to dinner and I picked at my food- something I normally don't do. I barely touched my dessert- again, that never happens. Superman took me home and put me to bed.
Saturday, we ran some errands and I slept most of the day. When I was awake, I felt nauseous. At this point, I'm not sure if it is the IVIg infusion or if morning sickness has arrived. For the past week or so, my eating habits have been WAY off. While I normally have a severe sweet tooth, I have no desire to eat ice cream, cookies, etc.. I am wanting salty things- salsa sounds great. The other morning, I woke up (at 6am) telling Superman I wanted a grilled cheese sandwich. As I write this, I am drinking a can of caffeine free ginger ale. It helps my stomach. I have already taken a 2 hour nap, and it's not even 3 pm ( I woke up at 9am). And you know what? I love it! I am finally pregnant and all of these things, as uncomfortable as they make me feel, are signs that I'm pregnant. If I have to deal with these things, that's fine..bring it on. I'm having twins :)
A few other things to note- Cathy, a friend from my IES group, just had her fert report and it's AMAZING. She has 29 fertilized right now and is waiting to hear her transfer date. My fingers are crossed for her and she and her husband are in my prayers!
Another friend, Maureen, is on the count down to her shots. I think she has 11 days left. She and Jacob are in our prayers as well!
Lastly, we sold my car. I loved my car. Superman's brother works for an Auto Auction and can help us buy a car for about half of what we would get it for at a dealership. The original plan was to sell my car and buy something similar, if not newer and nicer, and have a lower car payment. I loved my car.. did I say that already!? Anyway, that WAS the plan.. Then we found out we may have twins, so I started working on Superman for a small SUV.. something that would fit our larger family better than my Honda Accord. He drove our friends Highlander and agreed we needed something bigger than a sedan. Score one for me, right? Not so fast... Superman talked to his brother who suggested we look at Minivans because we can get one for practically nothing, with all the bells and whistles.. arrrrghhhh. So now, Superman is on a HUGE minivan kick. We even went to a dealership so I could test drive one.. Luckily, we were totally ignored by the salesmen. I understand that a mini is totally logical, responsible and practical for our quickly expanding family. I even agree it's the right thing to do. I do not, however, have to like it.

Betas

Beta # 1: 164
Beta #2: 560

Holy crap- I'm pregnant! They think because my betas were so high that there may be 2 in there!!

Waiting.

Beta #2 was drawn this morning, so now we wait. Neither of us has slept very well the past few nights. We should know in about 3-4 hours...

Steve and Lisa

Way back before we knew we were going to have such a 'fun' time trying to get pregnant, Superman and I would bounce baby names off of each other. Mine were normally something along the lines of Ava, Emma, Riley, Aiden... names that are quite common these days. One day, after suggesting something like Colin or Cole, Superman put his foot down. He declared that his "child(ren) will be named something normal- like Steve or Lisa."

This has since been a running joke with our group of friends- Why couldn't he have picked a name like Sara or Matthew? Steve and Lisa?? Where on earth did he get those names!? If you knew Superman, it would make sense- he just comes up with stuff like that.

So, we are affectionately calling our two blasts "Steve and Lisa". I hope they've found a comfy little spot and are attaching nicely. I'm worried, no, I'm scared that my body is going to be my enemy and not let Steve and Lisa stay with us. I'm trying not to angst about every little twinge or tingle, trying not to count the minutes until we get our second beta. We don't have a 2WW, the our WUB is already the longest wait of my life!!!

Anyway, I'd like to introduce Steve and Lisa:

Day 5.. or 6

I am on bed rest. We transferred two beautiful blasts at 11:15 this morning. I am officially "PUPO" (pregnant until proven otherwise). I'm nervous, scared, excited, hopeful, grateful, and a million other emotions, I can't explain it.
First, let's back up a bit- to Wednesday night. I didn't sleep. I couldn't sit still. I was anxious. Thursday was to be our Day 5 Transfer. I waited for a phone call from the doctors office all Wednesday, wanting to know when our transfer would be scheduled. It never came. Assuming that the call would come on Thursday morning, I attempted to sleep. That didn't happen.
Superman went to work early Thursday morning, knowing he's have to take some time off during the day to go with me to the doctor's office and I waited patiently by my phone- watching the minutes go by. At 9:30 I decided that if I didn't hear from them by 11, I'd call. My phone rang at 9:37- Nurse M (whose office is decorated with cup cakes... that's a whole other blog entry in itself.. save for another day) was calling to let me know that we were moving to a Day 6 transfer... WHHHAAATTTTT???!!!!!?!?! She explained that our embies were checked and were 'not quite there yet', so they'd like to wait until the next day to schedule the transfer.
Trying not to sound too frantic, I asked if this was something that we needed to be concerned about. She said that it wasn't, that they do day 6 transfers every cycle and it's not a big deal.
I thanked her for calling and hung up.. and burst into tears. I was so ready to go in, no one ever mentioned the possibility of a Day 6 transfer and now I had to wait ANOTHER 24 hours. UGH.
I called Superman, in tears, and relayed the news. He was just as disappointed as I was- possibly more. He calmed me down and told me to either go get a massage or make an acupuncture appt- I chose the latter.
Fast forward to this morning- my phone rang at 9:15 and Nurse Cupcake said we were ready to roll. Superman picked me up and we went to the doctor, completely full of nervous energy.
We were led back into the semi private room and Nurse A came in with an updated calendar and strict instructions for Superman to keep me off my feet and on the couch.
A few minutes later, we were led into the procedure room. I assumed the legs up position and Superman took the chair next to me. Dr A came in, holding the most beautiful thing I've ever seen- a picture of our two blasts. Words cannot describe how amazing they looked. Dr A transferred them and I was whisked back into the semi private room. We sat there for about 30 minutes. I would like to think I decompressed during that time, but I don't really think I did.
Superman got me lunch and 3 movies to watch while he went back to work. I was about 1/2 through the second one when I decided that bed rest sucks and I was bored out of my mind!
I have about 14 hours left and I don't want to think about having an extended bed rest later on.
God bless the women who do this for 3-4-5 weeks at a time. I don't know how they do it.
So, we wait until next Friday for beta 1, beta 2 will be the Monday after that- so that's what we're looking forward to- it's not quite the 2WW, but I'm sure it'll feel just as long!!

And then there were 8...

I just received a phone call from Nurse M with an update on our embies. All 10 are still growing, but it looks as though one is only at 5 cells (a little low) and another is at 14 (a little high). The remaining 8 are all around 8 cells (ideal) and are at a Grade 2. ET will be on Thursday.
I'm starting to get nervous.. very nervous.

ER and Fert Report

Saturday
Woke up way before my alarm- just like I knew I would. We left the house around 8:45am and I was sitting on a bed in a hospital gown by 9:15. (BTW, if anyone is looking for a million dollar idea- design prettier hospital gowns, they're so depressing and boring. I would have much rather have been in a gown with a little more flair)
Nurse A came in and hooked me up with an IV and went over all post- procedure information and instructions, including the progesterone shot instructions.
The nurse Anesthetist came in and asked me several questions, a little too quickly and left Superman and I looking at each other trying to figure out what just happened.
About 5 minutes later, I was walked into the procedure room. I wasn't put totally under, like I thought I might be- I was more put into a deep 'la-la land' for the procedure. I don't remember much of it. I do recall that I kept messing with my oxygen mask and I remember complaining of some pain during the procedure itself. (Sorry Dr. A!!!)
While I was in the procedure room, Superman went off to give a sample. When he finished, he went back into my 'room' and waited for me to return. All in all, the procedure took about 15 minutes. I don't remember getting back into the room with Superman, I was super sleepy. Someone (Nurse A?) gave me some cookies and cracker to eat because I had to fast for the ER. Superman said I fell asleep with a cookie in my mouth-LOVELY.
After about 30-45 minutes of taking my vitals, Superman was told to go get his car and I was put in a wheelchair and wheeled out- which was probably a good thing, because I still couldn't see straight! I think the nurses must have told him that I needed to eat, because the whole ride home consisted of Superman waking me up to ask if I wanted Qdoba.. Subway, etc. for lunch. Somehow we settled on McAlisters.. No clue where that came from! (Update: After speaking with Superman, I was adamantly asking for lunch.. hmmm, I do not remember that!! :))
My mom was waiting for us at our house when we got home, with pretty flowers to make me feel better. She helped Superman get me inside (again, having trouble seeing straight and staying awake!!) and I crashed on the couch for the rest of the afternoon.
Because Superman had had a super girly day- he went to some hunters auction with my dad and brother that night, for some much needed man time. My mom and sister brought dinner over and we watched super-girly movies- Bride Wars and He's Just Not That Into You.
Overall, I would say pain was at a 4 out of 10- I'm still a little crampy, but not that bad at all. I haven't taken any of the prescribed pain meds today and I only took 1 yesterday. I was the most uncomfortable on Saturday morning, before ER. I just felt like I was going to pop- my ovaries were super tender, to the point that it hurt to sit down. Now, the tenderness and swelling has gone down, and I feel like I'm almost back to my normal, unhormonal self.

Progesterone Shots
Were not as bad as I thought they were going to be. We actually switched the needle to a smaller gauge, so the giant, scary needle I had been looking at for the past few months wasn't even used. The best way I can describe the shot is that it felt like Superman was giving me a bruise in the butt- and I really don't have much of a butt to bruise. It still feels like it's bruised, but we only have to do it every 3 days, alternating sides, so hopefully by the time we get back to the same cheek, it'll be feeling better.

The Numbers
While we were in our 'room' after ER, Superman and I heard Dr A say "1-7". One of us, I can't remember who, asked Nurse A, if that was our number..?? She came in and said that he got 17. Dr. A came in, said I did great and he was happy with our number- 17- WOO HOO!
Sunday morning, my cell phone rang at 8:14am. It was nurse A with our Fert Report- out of the 17 he got, 11 were mature and 10 have fertilized. So, right now, we have 10 babies growing in a petri dish. Part of me wants to go visit them and see them.. is that weird?!?

Next Steps
ET will either be tomorrow or Thursday. I was under the impression that it was going to be a quick 10-15 minute procedure, similar to an IUI, but the literature that Nurse A gave us said that we should plan on being at the office for 2-3 hours and that I would need a ride home. I will also be on bed rest 24hrs after ET- so more days off for me! I will not be hearing from the office today, as there is really nothing to report until tomorrow.
I'm feeling pretty optimistic right now, just waiting for July 27th.. the day we'll know if it worked :)

Update #2

Nurse M just called. ER will now be on Saturday. Now, I'm waiting for Nurse A to call with my Trigger time and to tell me what time my ER is scheduled.
More to come once A calls...

U/S Update

Met with Dr. A yesterday afternoon. I am up to 21 follies, all measuring about 16-17 or so. He thinks he'll get at least 15 eggs at ER. I had blood work done this morning and am waiting to hear from Nurse M on further instructions. Still no word on when ER will be scheduled, although Dr. A mentioned Sunday would 'probably' be the day.
More to come once I hear from Nurse M...

Monitoring

Last Thursday was my IVIg and intralipid infusion. I arrived at 9:00 am and was 'hooked up' by 9:30. We started with the intralipids, which looked like milk and only lasted about 45 minutes. After that, the nurse switched me to a sssllloooowwww drip of the IVIg. The first bottle took about 2.5 hours to administer. During that time, two other women (one in the same cycle as I am) came and went, only having intralipids done. My sister brought me lunch- Bread Co. French Onion Soup in a bread bowl. She had texted me earlier, asking what I was in the mood for and at the time I was cold, so I told her I wanted something warm. Both of my arms were hooked up to something- the left one was on a BP monitor and the right one had a big needle jammed into it. Needless to say, my soup wasn't so easy to eat.

In order to avoid a massive headache and other side effects, I was told to drink lots of water/Gatorade and keep hydrated. So I did. I think I went through 5 bottles of water in about 3 hours. Holding the IVIg bottle above my head while I maneuvered my jeans down one-handed was a bit tricky, but by the 12th visit to the ladies room, I had my routine down. I think I spent just as much time in the ladies room as I did on the over-stuffed leather couch.
Because I didn't have any reaction to the first bottle of IVIg, the nurse was able to speed up the second one. I got through it in a little over an hour and was out the door by 2:15. Overall, I would say that the day was mostly boring. I felt a little 'puffy' from all of the fluids and my head felt a little woozy, but otherwise, I felt just fine.

Yesterday, I had both blood work and my first monitoring u/s. Dr A was happy with the results- right side had 12 and the left had 6. All were measuring between 11- 16mm. He said he thinks we'll get about 12-15 total at retrieval. I left the office with additional instructions- 3 vials of Bra.velle and continuing Lu.pron shots, more blood work orders and another u/s on Wednesday afternoon. It looks like retrieval will be on Friday or Saturday. I should know for sure on Wednesday when it will be scheduled. Superman and I have both taken Friday off, so we'll either have a play day or it'll be retrieval day.

Needles, Needles and More Needles

By the end of the day today, I will have had at least 20-25 needles poked into my skin. Right now, I think I'm at around 22-24. Superman did the Lu.pron shot this morning, and Christine, my acupuncturist did the other 20 or so. I also begin stims (brav.elle) tonight.
Christine had spoke to my Infertility Education and Support group last week and was really informative and knowledgeable about infertility. She didn't blink an eye when I mentioned NKA cells- she knew exactly what I was talking about and asked if I was doing Intralipids- it was so lovely not to have to delve into a long explanation about IV's and IVIg.
Anyway, my appointment was over my lunch break today. After asking a lot of questions ranging from cycles and cramps to appetite and sleep/stress she took my pulse and looked at my tongue. Apparently, my spleen is a little slow (??) so we're going to work on blood flow to my uterus and ovaries to grow good follicles.
She put needles in my wrist, ear, on the top of my head, on my belly (5 there) and up and down my legs/feet/ankles. I laid on the comfy table for about 10 minutes looking like Pinhead and relaxing. When she came back in to check on me she pulled one of the needles out because I mentioned that it was a bit uncomfortable. I guess I had moved my wrist and it was no longer in the proper position between my tendons. My body temp had dropped a bit, so she turned on the heater on the table and put a light blanket over my legs (which still had needles in them!). She left me alone for about 10 more minutes before she came in and hooked all of the needles in my belly up with wires. She said it was a slight electric current designed to increase blood flow to my abdomen (uterus and ovaries). When she turned it on, I just felt a slight twitches in my stomach- no pain at all.
I'm hoping to reduce some stress and anxiety through acupuncture. Superman kind of shakes his head about it, saying he doesn't know if he believes in 'holistic' medicine. At this point, I am willing to do whatever it takes. I don't want to look back after this cycle and say, "if we would have only done this or that, maybe then we would have had a positive". I want to give this cycle 110% of everything I can- without any regrets.

New Kitchen Accessory!

We have a lovely new addition to our kitchen counter top..please excuse the blurry image, the picture was taken with my cell phone.

The lu.pron shots are going well, Superman has it down pat and I can say that I really haven't felt them all that much. I'm on 10cc's until Monday, when I'll drop down to 5. I have also started Dex.amethas.one.

Apart from the 'girls' being abnormally large from the BCPs, I really haven't experienced any side effects (knocking very loudly on wood). I have cut out caffeine and am trying to eat healthier. I even passed up a very scrumptious looking brownie this morning that say, 5 weeks ago would have been my breakfast.

I was going over my calendar and I noticed something kind of interesting. I started BCPs on Mother's Day and I'm supposed to finish them on Father's Day. A sign? Perhaps.. only time will tell.

Reallllly Bad Joke...

Lup.ron shots begin tomorrow, and I'm sure I will post about the 'first shot' experience at some point tomorrow- might even have a video for you.. Anyway, someone in my office just sent me the following blond joke (note: I'm not a blonde). Because we are beginning the next chapter of our baby making story, it sorta fits. Anyway, more to come later this week.. and I apologize for the really bad joke..

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, 'what the heck' and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, "I have some really great news!"
I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy."
She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant. I knew she'd been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great, I couldn't be happier for you!"
Then she said, "There's more."
I asked, "What do you mean there's more."
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant,I asked her how she knew. She said.... "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Sam's Club and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack. Both tests came out positive!"

They're Here....

Superman was kind enough to snap a picture of the meds and sent it my way. I'm itching to get home and make sure ALL of them were delivered. I don't think it looks very big, but he's assured me it's "a pretty big box".

The meds were delivered to his office because I didn't want them sitting on my porch all day. His office is small enough that the meds wouldn't be lost in the mailroom, like they would at my office. Superman told one of the Admins that he was expecting a shipment of CHOCOLATE! Hey, whatever works, right!?

Everyone in his company is getting new cell phones and the shipment of phones arrived at the same time the meds did- and one of his poor co-workers accidentally opened our box. What a shock he probably had- expecting a box of Blackberrys and finding this-

Superman said that the guy brought him the box, apologized and pretty much ran away. Oh well.

Lucky Day

Quick post today.. First, our IVF meds will be delivered tomorrow. I'll take a picture and post sometime over the weekend of our PLETHORA of medication.
The pharmacy called today to confirm delivery (thank you! That definitely helps my neurosis!!). Anyway, they also wanted to let me know the total that will be billed to my credit card. The total he gave me was two cents less than the original total when I placed the order. I told the guy this and he said, "Must be your lucky day!".. Ummm, no. "Lucky" would be if the total suddenly dropped $1000 OR if we won the $220 Million Powerball drawing last night.. but I'll still take the 2 cent discount!!!

We have a diagnosis

Dr. A called last week to discuss the results of my bloodwork. Pretty much everything came back normal... pretty much. I tested positive for "ICC".. couldn't find a single thing on-line about ICC, found plenty about the International Cricket Club though!!.. and my NKa counts came back super high. From what I could find about NKa, my body identifies an embryo as a foreign object and attacks it before it can even implant. So, I may have been pregnant, several times... but my body rejected it even before I got a positive pregnancy test.

Dr. A is recommending 2 rounds of IVIg, which is terribly terribly expensive and quite possibly our only hope of getting and STAYING pregnant. We found a pharmacy in Chicago where we can get IVIg for the bargain price of only $82/gram. My counts were so high, he is also recommending that I get twice the normal amount of IVIg, so I'll need a total of 80g.. LOVELY.

It took a few days for all of the information to soak in.. and I had a meltdown last Thursday night. Throughout all of this, I have felt immense guilt. Guilt for being the one with 'the problem', Guilt for having to spend so much money on doctor bills, Guilt for being the one keeping Superman from being a Dad. The news that our cheap, low stim IVF cycle was now going to cost us more than a regular IVF cycle put me over the edge. I could not stop crying, no, I could not stop BAWLING. It wasn't a pretty cry either. It was a snotty, hiccuping, blubbering sob fest. I'm one of those criers whose face gets red, eyes swell, throat closes up and head starts throbbing when I have a massive cry session. Superman insisted that I take the following day off from work and use the gift certificate that my MIL gave me as a 'stress reducer' gift a few weeks ago. He even arranged for my little sister to meet me for a pedi after my massage. It was much needed- Thanks Superman and MIL!

Thinking positively, we do have lots in our favor. Our age, Supermans' super spermies, my hormone levels and health.. all signs that we should be successful. We also identified the problem BEFORE we began expensive IVF treatments. Had we have stayed with Dr. J, goodness knows how many thousands of dollars we would have spent without being successful.

We celebrated Mother's Day for Supermans' family yesterday afternoon. I was in charge of dessert- my favorite!, so I got up early to make cake balls for my in-laws. Superman had already gotten up WAY early to go turkey hunting with my SIL's bf.. ANYWAY, cake balls take some time, but are definitely worth the work. I had already baked the cakes Friday night and got up to roll and dip the balls before I headed out to the in-laws. I rolled about 6-7 dozen balls and jumped in the shower when I realized that I needed to run to a Quest center to have day 3 bloodwork drawn. Oh shoot! This was totally going to put a cramp in my schedule for the morning!
I quickly dressed and through on some make up and drove to the closest Quest office- watching the clock the whole time. There wasn't single person in the waiting room when I got there- SCORE! I checked in and was in a room within 5 minutes. Awesome, right on schedule! I gave the nurse my name and waited for her to poke me while she looked my file up on the computer... frowning, she asked me my name, drs name, dob.. oh, they didn't have the request that Dr. A's office was supposed to fax on Thursday. The woman asked if Dr. A's office was open on Saturdays and I said yes, I think they do some procedures on Saturdays.. so she left the room to go call the office, only to return and say that they were closed. (Here comes the part that I'm not so proud of....) I BURST into tears and told the nurse that it's a timed test and I was going to have to wait another MONTH to take it if blood wasn't drawn today. She apologized and said there was nothing to do and that she felt terrible.. I threw on some sunglasses and left.. tears streaming down my face. On my way home, I called my drs office thinking that there HAD to be an off hours exchange and within 5 minutes was connected to my nurse "A". She said that this happens ALL the time with Quest and told me to ask them if they could take a verbal order... UMM, I was in my car, not at the office.. ARGH!!!
So I drove back to the place where I had just made a huge embarrassing scene. Luckily, A knew all of the correct codes for all of the tests I had to have done- at least 7-8 of them, and my blood was drawn. I apologized to everyone for being the high-maintenance customer for the day and left with a band-aid on my arm.
By this time, I needed to be heading to the in-laws, but my cake balls weren't finished. I packed up the dog, the balls and the chocolate bark for the balls, thinking I could finish them at their house. About 2/3's of the way to their house Superman called to say that the festivities wouldn't take place at my MIL's, they had been moved to his grandparents' house, who HATE dogs. I explained to him my frustrating morning, how the balls weren't done, and that the dog was sitting in the seat next to me. Okay, "explained" probably isn't all that correct. I think it was maybe more along the lines of 'Bitched'... a teenie, tiny fight ensued.. maybe a tear or two more was shed... In the end, Superman waited for me at his parents house, helped me with the balls, and a crate was found so the dog wouldn't destroy my in-laws house while we were gone.
I'm not sure I was hormonal or if the tears and frustration were because it was Mothers Day, a not so fun holiday for us infertiles.. Either way, it was a rough day and I'm glad it's over! I'm definitely looking forward to Mother's Day next year and hoping that I'll be the one receiving gifts and love and praise.. not crying and fighting with Superman.

Here We Go!

Our financial meeting went well. We're crossing our fingers that all of our tests are 'normal' and we qualify for the low stim IVF cycle. The low stim cycle will cost about $8500, as opposed to the full IVF $17K.. Superman said that even though he was holding a bill for almost $9K, he felt like he won the lottery.. but we still need to qualify :)

I'm off fore more blood work tomorrow- FSH, LH, TSH, Prolactin, etc., and Monday both of us have appts for different tests- u/s and b/w for me and another analysis for him. I also picked up a prescription for BC pills yesterday. How weird is that?!? We decided LONG ago that BC was pretty much a waste of money for us.. and yet, in order to have a baby, I'm back on BC.. at least insurance covers THAT prescription!

Apointments, Apointments

Last week, Superman and I were scheduled to go speak with someone in Dr. A's office about finances.. not sure what the talk would entail specifically, but I'm sure it's something along the lines of, "we require payment at the time of service, no credit cards, money orders only..etc". Anyway, our appt was cancelled 45 minutes before it was supposed to start. We each ended up with an afternoon off, which we promptly filled by meeting with a representative from our mortgage bank to discuss getting a home equity loan. Exactly what I wanted to do on a warn sunny day! The meeting was successful, but we're still only about 1/2 way there..
We're rescheduled for this Thursday to have our finance conversation, but I feel like we're about as prepared as we can be at this point.
I am also waiting patiently for CD 1 so I can call Dr. A's office and schedule our next round of tests- b/w & u/s for me and another s/a test for superman.

IVF with New Doc.

Superman and I met with Doc #3 this morning. We were still considering staying with Dr. J but after a nice long meeting with Dr. A, we've decided he's our man. He does his own u/s and is present for pretty much every appointment I'll have. We also got the impression that he is very aggressive in his treatments- something I felt was lacking with Dr. J. We have a "Financial Consult" appointment on April 29th and have a list of pre-cycle tests that need to be done before we start our first IVF. Ideally, we'll start our first cycle the last week of May.. Holy Bajolies, we might be preggo by the end of the summer. That is totally cool with me because last Fall I bought a few shirts that would be GREAT maternity shirts for college football games. They're super cute and just happen to be the appropriate school colors :)

Navigating IVF

Cycle #4 was a bust. No surprise there, but I was still bummed to see AF all the same. Luckily, our consult with Dr. P was moved to Monday. Superman and I talked with him for about 45 minutes, tried to make sense of all of his analogies and keep up with his fast paced talk.. Whew. I was soo happy Superman was able to be there with me because there is no way I could have repeated everythink that Dr. P said!

We went home that night and poured over all of the information we received from Dr. P, Dr. J and Dr. A (granted, Dr. A's info is a copy of someone else's info in my fabulous Resolve group, we're meeting with him next week). Now, I'm totally confused! If we want to do a single cycle, Dr. J is the way to go. If we want to do 3 cycles, Dr. A is our man. Two cycles? Yep, you guessed it, Dr. P. One of the comments left on a previous post said 'not to put all of our eggs in one basket', and I think that will be my mantra as we go through the rest of the journey. Although, last night Superman was trying to cheer me up and asked if he could get me anything. I asked for a Magic 8 Ball (sidenote- I googled Magic 8 Ball to get an image to post into the blog and found several sites that have electronic versions where you type in your questions and hit "ask" to get the Magic 8 Ball's response. I asked if one IVF cycle would be enough to get pregant. The response? "Maybe".. sigh...)

I've made 2 more appointments with other area doctors, mainly to gather pricing and package information. We have noticed that a lot of packages have 'hidden costs'- anesthesia, ICSI, Assisted Hatching, Meds, etc. I'm curious to hear if anyone can provide information on other hidden costs we should be aware of..

IUI #4

I finally got a positive o-test today. I've been feeling a little funky for the past week, so I'm assuming it has something to do with my late o-test. We go in tomorrow for our final IUI with fingers, toes, legs, arms, etc. crossed.
If the IUI doesn't work, we already have 2 appts with other area doctors to talk about IVF. One of them is scheduled the week after my 2ww ends.. SOO hopefully we can swing into an IVF cycle (depending on $$..), right away..

Moving Forward

After discussing our options with Dr. J, we're convinced that IVF is our next step. Dr. J is concerned about me being a high risk for multiples if we were to do Injectables/ IUI. That, combined with the increased health risks and lower success rate, has convinced us that IVF is for us.
Now, our plan is to meet with a few other area doctors and see who has the best bang for our buck, so to speak. We're trying to figure out what would be the best plan for us. Should we do an Outcome Based Plan, that's more expensive, but more or less guaranteed.. sort of.. Or should we just buy one cycle at a time and hope we get pregnant on our first try?
I completely understand that my doctor is operating a business, so they're trying to make money, but we're trying to have a baby, without throwing ourselves completely into debt.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to decide on the plethora of packages are out there??

Consult Today.

We're meeting with Dr. J to figure out our next step. I'm thinking one more IUI (I've already stared this month's Clomid) then skipping injectables and going directly to IVF. When we started all of this, I really, truly thought that we wouldn't have to go to IVF, but then again, does anyone?

On a much lighter note, George Clonney is filming a movie in the same neighborhood as my Drs office, maybe I'll see him :)

Negative

I pretty much knew that I wasn't. But I still tested. And I'm not. At our last IUI, Nurse M said to make sure request a consult when I called to get another round of Clomid if AF showed up. When I mentioned this to Superman today, he asked if I could get an appointment for Monday morning, because he wants to go hunting that afternoon and he needs an excuse to take a full sick day.. to go hunting. Happy I could help honey.
Superman also had some good news today. He talked to his mom about our latest failed IUI and told her we planned to do one more IUI and then go straight to IVF. Both my MIL and FIL are incredibly supportive and each month I hate telling them we're not pregnant, because I know they are just as disappointed as we are... Anyway, MIL told Superman that they really want to help us, but the only way they know how to help is a monetary contribution to the cause (IVF). Wow. Superman said he had to take a timeout in the office bathroom because he was so overwhelmed with emotion. (Sidenote: Have I mentioned how Superman is wonderfully sensitive about just the right things? He's not sappy. He's very much a guys guy. He hunts. He plays poker with the guys. He brews his own beer. But when our furbaby ran away while we were out of town and spent the night outside- for the first time EVER. When we found him (think Homeward Bound), I don't know who cried more, him or me. And everytime "We laughed until we cried" is on the radio.. He's right there welling up with me. He's wonderful. And he's mine!!)

Georgia

THIS makes me sick.

Oh, the things people say!!

Those familiar with IF are used to hearing the usual tidbits of advice on just how to get pregnant. "Just relax and forget about it.. it'll just happen", "Stand on your head afterwards... help the spermies get where they need to go", "Maybe you should have the doctor poke holes in your ovaries..." Wait, WHAT??? This was actually the advice of my MIL, as relayed to me by Superman. Honestly, I thought it was THE most absurd thing I've ever heard. Poke holes in my ovaries- Not only did that sound incredibly painful, but what does she think is wrong with my ovaries? Does she think they're clogged?
I laughed it off for a few days, but then I got to thinking.. Maybe MIL was on to something. Every single one of my tests had come back completely normal. Maybe they were clogged.. So I googled "holes in ovaries", just to see what would come up. What did I find?
Laparoscopic Ovarian Diathermy (LOD). I found an interesting study about a procedure done for those with PCOS. Fortunately, I don't have PCOS, so no Ovary Drilling for me.. Has anyone out there ever had this procedure? It's never been mentioned in any of my IF books, but I'd be curious to hear of any experiences (or successes!) those of you have had with LOD.

Planning Ahead

So, we are in the 2WW from IUI # 3. At our last appointment, Nurse M said that we needed to make an appt. for a consult if we get a BFN on this latest round. Hm, not a good sign now is it? Our next step in Dr. J's plan is IUI/Injectables. Superman and I have discussed our options a few times and we're leaning towards going straight to IVF. If we need to go that route, we will also be changing doctors. Dr. J, while wonderful and conveniently located to my office, doesn't offer a shared- risk plan.

Why are we planning ahead? What happened to the optimism we started this journey with? Why is it that we are automatically assuming that this round hasn't worked? I think that we're protecting ourselves- the disappointment gets worse each month- and secretly, I'm hoping that we're somehow jinxing ourselves by planning the next step. Hopefully, we're already there.